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I am no longer the product.

Posted on 2018.04.30 at 13:28
Current Location: Montreal
Listening to: Let the Rhythm Just - The Polish Ambassador

Sort-of.

It just hit me after my divorce with Facebook that I should suport Livejournal with a couple of bucks.

I remember In the Beginning of the Internet" thinking that free hosting was some kind of right.  I think that I'm over that now, having seen the actual cost of free hosting, and having also compared it with the cost of a slightly fancy lunch. So here I am, all paid up and feeling like I struck a blow in the name of freedom. I'm happy. Now if only if I could get that Identify Music thingy to work automagically instead of having to type the current song's details in the wee box.

Not much of an entry, eh? Sorry, I have to get some actual work doone. ;-)


Just another broken cinder block

Posted on 2018.04.27 at 15:49

I made this one quiet afternoon at work. What can I say, we have crayons and cinder blocks just laying about the place. I found the pattern in a book on graffiti (Graffiti And Street Art, Waclawek 2012) then mapped it onto a graph. That's how I do art; accurately. Maybe I missed the point about the creative aspect of artmaking, but this little green alter-ego makes me happy just looking at him. He's also an excellent doorstop.


Word(s) of the Day

Posted on 2018.04.26 at 15:13
Listening to: Here We Go magic - Over the Sea

Yesterday's Word of the day is Pinetum.
My first guess was it referred to that slight belly extension that you get when you quaff a litre of Spruce Beer but no, its actually a:
noun: An arboretum of coniferous trees such as pines.

I have to admit that it's a better guess than my guess for today's WOD which is Arctophile. I thought for sure that this might have something to do with Loving the Arctic (because clearly I can't differentiate between Arcti and Arcto) but I was proven wrong once again. Would you believe that it's a:
noun: Someone who is very fond of teddy bears or collects them. Nope, I would never have guessed.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I thought that an entry is better than no entry.

So my wife is leaving for Italy in a week. She's taking a University level drawing course that will last a month. We're both a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. She's got her own set of worries that she won't enjoy being stuck with a bunch of undergrads for that length of time. She's worried about performance too, of course, but given that she was an architect in a previous career I think she'll be fine with a pencil. She also keeps mentioning that she hopes that I'll be happy to see her when she gets back.  She thinks that we spent far too much time in close quarters last year because of the cancer treatments I went through and that it would be good for us to spend some time apart and that I'll stop being angry.
I'm not though; angry, that is. What I am feeling is a gradual disinterest in and dissolution of the relationship because of the complete lack of intimacy that was brought to us by menopause. No cuddles, no hugs, and certainly no love-making for the past two years kind of brings a guy down - health issues notwithstanding.

Anyway, I am kind of looking forward to the break. I keep thinking back to when I was single and young and lonely and I wonder if next month will be like that again.  Wait and see. Wait, and see.


Reddit Poetry

Posted on 2018.04.16 at 16:40
Everyone makes mistakes
The girl slept on the subway
my gf asks me to go deeper.
Bringing down the roof
I guess it could be worse


Maybe I can create haikus from these. Not today of course, maybe later.
(Link titles from reddit.com)

When the world hands you pocky sticks

Posted on 2018.04.16 at 09:58
Feels like: In love with love.
Listening to: Bill Withers - Who Is He (And What Is He To You)


That's it. Nothing deep, insightful, or important; just a silly photo on this ice-slick of a Montreal morning. The freezing rain has left us with a beautiful, yet treacherous city. I didn't take a photo, there was no time before my hasty descent into the underground.

The commute? It was pretty good given that the schools are closed because of the freezing rain. On the Métro today I spotted one commuter rehearsing her presentation off of hand-written cue cards. Thin lips memorizing as quickly as they could as the deadline loomed large.
Another, a couple - newly-minted - shared earbuds, shy smiles, and a sense of wonder as they happily stood in each others' bubble, she holding onto his arm for balance and he occasionally reaching out to caress her face.


Little Monsters

Posted on 2018.04.14 at 06:54
They live inside us, and all around. This little fellow lives at my music school.
I was going to write a long entry about how I didn't even receive a card for our anniversary but chose to just mention it instead of going full reporter on the event. It's enough to remember the sadness that came from it, and to move on from there. I need to be a better sweetie if this is the state of the relationship.



Thete was water in the basement, seeping up through the slab as it does every spring. The ground is plump right now and the sump pump can't catch up.
My drums were all stored away on anything dry so I couldn't practice. But last night I set the kit up again and played a couple of grooves. It felt weird, like kissing your Ex or something. It will take a while to get the kit back in that comfortable zone but I've got time.

Message in a Bottle

Posted on 2018.04.04 at 15:34
Current Location: Panda University
Listening to: Handsome Boy Modeling School - The Truth

Leaving work for drum class yesterday I espied a folded note on a ledge in the corridor.
In the top left corner read, in a slightly flourished handwriting "To: U" The note was taped shut with a feminine looking crafting tape printed with waves of teal and purple.  At the bottom right, simply "-J" in the same delicate penmanship.

I'm a sucker for this kind of thing. There's a certain romance about the narrative of an anonymous note that speaks to the depth of me so I scooped up the note and slipped it into my jacket pocket. I didn't want to be late for class, and I didn't want whatever was written within to hang over me during my lesson. It did anyway. Of course it did. How could it not? I managed the rhythms set before me but at times I was clearly daydreaming  - losing count in a pillowy cloud of what ifs.

Walking home, my sticks safely stowed in my briefcase I slowed to find a suitable spot to open the note. St. Catherine street paid no attention to me as I put my back up against a light standard and slipped the paper from its warm pocket, deftly cutting though the tape with a ragged fingernail. The bulb directly above me cast a warm glow onto the wrinkled sheet, the words doing the same to my heart.

Today I posted a thank you on Craigslist / Missed Connections for J's wonderful and random act of kindness and I now share this sentiment with you.




Wait, what? The future is now already?

Posted on 2018.04.03 at 14:38

I remember watching an episode of Black Mirror titled Nosedive a while back. It had to do with how a stronger rating of your online persona made it easier to have nicer things etc. etc.
I watched the episode with a sense of foreboding and amusement as I imagined this kind of scenario maybe realizing itself within the next decade or so. Clearly the world moves far faster than I think it does because in today's news the following headline:

China to ban citizens with bad 'social credit' rating from taking flights or using trains for up to a year

I concede the idea must look absolutely brilliant to governments who want to keep everyone and everything in tidy order but has no one thought about the black market this will create? Will it be a quick bitcoin transfer and poof, Vladimir has added just the right amount of likes to your Social Credit score?
Maybe this won't happen, but I like to think of the dystopic society this could create - as a mental exercise, of course.

Right; end ramble.


Posted on 2018.04.01 at 10:37
Now I remember why FB took off so quickly, leaving LJ to gather lint in its navel; autocorrect!
I am loathe to admit it but FB does have an easier interface and we all - myself included - like things to be easy. Right?
I'm not talking about the deep life stuff that builds character, just social media.

Meh.

So it's Easter today. There was a basket of goidies on the diningroom table for me last Friday. A monster Kinder Surprise egg and a couple of Lindt bunnies. I didn't even have to bend down to look for my chocolates under the sofa, they were right there in front of me - a "fait accompli". Easy! And you know what, I'm not even going to complain that it made Easter feel like a routine chore.
I made the appropriate glee noises and let my eyes twinkle of course, then we went to the baker's to get her a fancy chocolate doodad which she only bit into on the next day.

Do you remember the Monty Python part when they go "and there was much rejoicing"? Yeah, it was like that a bit.
So anyeay I've got a completely useless Kinder toy truck that I push around the diningroom table like I'm an eight year old and I'm thinking "Why did I need this plastic thing that I will recycle within the next few day?"
So I have a couple of mouthfuls of chocolate and let my mind wander off the topic.
Happy Easter, btw. They found Christ's body so we'll have to cancel Easter from now on. Sorry, Nestlé.

No, you're short and stout!

Posted on 2018.03.29 at 14:11
Listening to: Let the Rhythm Just - The Polish Ambassador


Sometimes, when you're desperate for something to shake loose the weirdest things seem to turn up.


This was the first incantation; a teapot home surrounded by it's monsterly inhabitants. In a way it reminded me to let myself return to the playfulness of my youth. It was a door chime announcing that something new was coming in - if I let it.
Later in the week I took an impromptu hike up Mount Royal where I was able to vocalize what had been getting me down.

Oh? (fuck!)
Yellow for grey (days)
I can't see the forest (for the trees)
(Oh, to) To fall in love again
(this is) My voice, my eyes

So I put that all out there on IG and got a smattering of likes for the effort. IG is not the place to open your heart; they look without seeing there. I'm fine with that. It was good for me to shake some things off and speak things out loud. I didn't need or want ears, only a voice to cast out to the overcast city.



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